The Japanese Pidgin Constitution

The Japanese Pidgin Constitution

Last amended 9/11/2013

1. NO MORE FAT SHAMING/BODY SHAMING/ DISRESPECT SHAMING
2. Birds must sleep 8 hours/day. Sleep by 12am
3. Birds must take at least one item or trash/recycling to the bin each time they leave the house
4. Dishes shall be cleaned upon usage, unless it contains a particularly offensive protein plaque
5. Birds shall not leave dishes around the house: they attract creepy crawlies & lurgies
6. No leaving on the AC when no birds are present in the home
7. No wasting electricity
8. No being shy birds. Get yo’ man
9. Birds shall not spend more than an hour at the gym for lifting weights
10. Birds will do homework and reading everyday. There shall be no day in which no academic work does not get done.
11. Birds shall not buy more than 2 conditioner per month :(
12. Birds shall stretch after every workout and conduct proper warmups before workouts - NO EXCEPTIONS
13. Birds shall take all allotted vitamins daily. (including whole food calcium and women’s multi)
14. No more than 1 bowl of protein pops shall be made per week
15. No money wastage!
16. No food wastage!
17. Birds shall actively pursue their officer duties - including breaking out into the locales to seek sponsorships:)
18. One challenge per day - do something that makes you feel uncomfortable!!!
19. No slanderous negativity
20. No using the computer more than 2 hrs/day unless you have homework/presidential duties that absolutely requires it.
21. No using FRC as a means to avoid academic obligations
22. No self-deprecation
23. No hating people - love thy neighbor!
24. Tidy birds - no leaving TP in the living room. Keep thy room tidy
25. Boss Bird shall take leangains very seriously. Religious BODY SCULPTER
26. Real meals with fresh ingredients shall be made for bird consumption - no ice cream Fiber one soup for dinner
27. If you say you are going to do something - DO IT. Otherwise do not utter a word.
28. Check facebook once to twice per day. NO MORE. FRC DOES NOT JUSTIFY CHECKING FB OBSESSIVELY
29. Same applies for email.
30. Expand your horizons.
31. Do not take anything for granted
32. No neglecting our blog:(
33. Always take pics!
34. Birds shall not allow pb levels to approach dangerously low
35. One slice of bread per pb and J
36. NO hating people: mother will not have it
37. No laughing at people’s race times
38. Meet a new person once every two weeks

101 Banana Chip Flavors: A Signature Bird Creation

The following is the result of our culinary creativity going wild. We had 2 bananas, that was our canvas. We had a pantry full of spices and other knick knacks, that was our paint. And what would, say, Picasso do when presented with a blank canvas and a rich palette of paints? He'd go all out! It turns out we did just that. Lessons learned during the making of our signature banana chips: 

1. Using banana flavoring on bananas is perfectly acceptable

2. The mixing of sesame seeds, ginger, and coffee is actually quite delightful 

3. The same goes for lemon juice, cinnamon, and cocoa powder; as well as cocoa powder, coffee, sesame seeds, cinnamon, and ginger.

4. GO ALL OUT

Fruit ninja slicin & dicin

Look at that thin detailing

Artistry at work

Placing the masterpiece inside the oven.

2hrs later.. ready for public consumption

Doesn't look like something you'd wanna eat.. but take our word for it!

Still Awake

It's 4 in the morning, and all through the house, not a creature is peeping... except for 2 young females with a dose of L-Carnitine pumping through their veins!! We believe we might've discovered the new all-natural hipster alternative to aderol. Now time to go run a marathon!!! Djisuxavwgidjavkshhsksdhhajsvau

A New Camera

And with all new cams...

There must be pics!

Artsy flattering photos are for normal folk. Birds go in. 

Proat-pops!

I promise, this will be the last post about protmeal... for today! You must understand, it is an essential part of the busy lives of birds, and we MUST get our protein, so it is not surprising that most of the blog seems to be dedicated to it. Anyways, if you remember that dream-like protein pudding from a few previous posts ago, this is the picture perfect result of giving it a good few hours in the freezer, stickin' a straw in it, and calling it a day. This is Proat-pops, my friend, a signature bird creation.

The consistency of fudge aka heaven in your mouth

Could also pass as pudding or brownies, can't go wrong!

This one went for a little dip in toasted oats

A true protein delicacy

Thieves

Monday morning rain ain't fallin..

Lose the covers 

Go runnin!

Monday morning we were up in true bird fashion at 7am and off to cross country practice! After practice we decided we needed bird food. 

We rolled on down to Publix and WENT IN. Our groceries included but were not limited to:


Breyers No Sugar Added Neopolitan Icecream
Fiber one (duh)
Skim Milk
BUTTER
Elbow Macaroni
Cheese please
Grape Jelly
Blueberry preserves (w/ fiber)
High Fiber Tortilla Shells
Ham
No bacon :(
Grapes
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
100 calorie sandwich thins
Disrespectful Bread
Margoram
 Grapefruit Juice

:)

Of course, we only had our bikes to carry all of this home and  our over zealous shopping trip left us with too much to carry.

Naturally, our bird ingenuity kicked in.

We triple locked our bikes to the publix bike rack and rode the shopping cart home.

Some might consider this theft. We'd prefer to think of it as borrowing without permission...and with the express intent of returning it.

Did we ride the cart down the 34th street hill? Did someone topple out of the cart into the street?
Did we drop the cart off a  4ft wall? Maybe. Maybe not. You had to be there man.

Supps!

It's not easy for a bird to take on human form, but since we do, we like to take care of our bods. The colorful display of many shapes and sizes you see above make up our after-dinner treat, if you will. If you're wondering what are secret supps are, here's a list that might help you understand:

Calcium (giant gray pill): mainly for hopeful curing of existing running injuries, or prevention of future ones; also for general bone building and prevention of non-frail bones

Fish Oil (huge yellow pill): Omegas/anti-inflammatories/ aka live forever

Magnesium (giant black pill): not really sure but hear it's good for the digestive system..

Multi-vitamin (food-based) (half vomit green pill): natural food-based absorption of a magical mixture of all the important vitamins you need. Note: only half pill because it likes to turn your insides green, or something of the sort

Biotin (small pink circular tablet): perfect skin, perfect hurr, perfect nailz

Vitamin E (jr Fish Oil): good for the skin and probably more

Melatonin (tiny white capsule): regulates sleep cycle for that beauty rest (Hint: do not combine with L-Carnitine or it may result in deadly effects!)

Perfecting the Proatmeal, Part II

A proatmeal so delightful it was worthy of Nakamura herself. It was one part whole milk plain yogurt, a liberal mixing of choco-soy protein powder (none of that vile cookies & cream stuff!), a dash of oats, and of course dat all-natural pb, recently retrieved from the pb supply stores and already diminishing fast. If it were Boss, she'd probably try to fool you into accepting her fiber-fortified vanilla-cinnamon version, but I don't do any of that nonsense. Hmm I wonder how it would taste frozen...